Not Getting A Single Match On Tinder
How Tinder works: Tinder is probably the most popular dating app in the world. The use of Tinder corresponds to the “hot or not” principle. You will see photos of other people. A swipe to the right means that you like the person. A swipe to the left means the opposite. Only when two people liked each other, they get a match on Tinder. Instead of taking dating to the 21st century, many people have gathered bad experiences on Tinder.
- Tinder is a bit black and white as a guy- if you're good looking enough, you'll get loads of matches and it'll boost your ego. If you're average to above average, you'll think you're an ugly mutt because of the lack of matches, thus deflating your ego.
- Evidence shows people on Tinder are not motivated enough to speak to someone they match with. Both men and women are unlikely to message even after mutually liking another profile, a new study has.
- If you are a guy, then YES it is VERY natural you don’t get any matches on Tinder. Even Brad Pitt won’t get many matches on Tinder. Since Brad Pitt is passed his prime and old (but still pretty good looking) girls on any dating site, including but not limited to, Tinder, women will scroll right on passed it.
A match who can’t be bothered to write back to a personable, friendly message isn’t worth the data you used to download their photo. It doesn’t make them suck any less, but maybe it will.
The basic functions of Tinder are free of charge, but with the premium paid memberships “Tinder Plus” or “Tinder Gold” you can receive some additional features. With “Tinder Gold” you can see who likes you, before you have to swipe yourself.
How does the typical Tinder review looks like?
Depending on which gender you ask for a review about Tinder, the answer will be quite different. The average man has no matches on Tinder, and if he does get a match, the likelihood that the woman will answer him is low. Or worse: the woman is well below his level of attractiveness. The average women has enough matches, but the really attractive men rarely write them a first message. The attractive women, on the other hand, cannot keep up with their matches. Almost every swipe is a match but the attractive women aren’t really satisfied either. Most of the time they get a lot of impersonal messages from guys they aren’t interested in. And what about the attractive men? It is going well for them. In short, the big winners in the Tinder world are the 20% of the most attractive men.
The majority of men have no matches on Tinder!
The majority of men share the same experience on Tinder. They download the app, quickly upload a few photos and start swiping. The first frustration with this app comes as soon as they realize that they get no matches on Tinder. Life on Tinder is cruel. Especially if you are a average looking man. A socio-economist has researched and published under the pseudonym “Worst Online Dater” how cruel the life on Tinder really is. Since he didn’t get any hot dates himself, he had a lot of time to do all the research. The results are frustrating.
Research: Average men have it extremely difficult with dating apps
In his first study, Worst Online Dater examined what’s the most success, which a man can achieve on Tinder. For this he created two profiles on Tinder. First the “Attractive Guy” and then the “Unattractive Guy”. The “Attractive Guy” is 26 years old and got a fake photo of an very attractive man. While the “Unattractive Guy” is 34 years old and got a photo of an average man. (The term “Unattractive Guy” is probably a bit misleading here. Actually, “Average Guy” would be more appropriate). Then he swiped each woman right.
As you might expect, the “Attractive Guy” did a much better job, but the extent is surprising. The attractive man achieved a Tinder Match rate of 22.6%. The average man came up with a meager 0.5% match rate. This means that the average man has to swipe 200 times to the right before he gets a single match. (And then it’s not even certain whether this is a match with a woman who is at least of average attractiveness.)
To be sure that this difference wasn’t caused by the different ages of the two profiles, he next swapped the ages of both profiles. “Attractive Guy” was now 34 years old and “Unattractive Guy” was 26 years old. The success rate of the “Unattractive Guy” did not change significantly with 0.4% match rate. Most importantly, the 34-year-old “Attractive Guy” was able to increase his match rate to incredible 42%.
Therefore, the moral of the story is: Tinder can actually work, but only if you are an very attractive man. Men in their 30s are particularly popular with women, but only if they look good. If you look average, then your age won’t help you either.
78% of women fight for 20% of the most attractive men!
In his second study, “Worst Online Dater” analyzed the usage data of female Tinder users and evaluated it statistically. The average woman just liked 12 percent of the men on Tinder. That leads to a situation where 78% of all women (regardless of whether they are attractive or not) are only interested in the 20% of the most attractive men. It is these 20% of the most attractive men, who receive the most of the matches. For the remaining men (at least 80%) who aren’t that hot, there aren’t many women left on Tinder.
For the 20% of the hot men, this is a paradise, but for the majority of men the siuation is hopeless, because most women on Tinder only like these few, very handsome men. With this study, the “Worst Online Dater” sends a very clear message: “If you aren’t super-hot, you are wasting your time on Tinder”. But this situation is also unsatisfactory for the majority of women because they cannot all get one of these good looking men.
Tinder has more inequality than 95% of all economies
The “Worst Online Dater” calculated this injustice in the online dating world and compared it with the imbalance in wealth distribution in all economies of the world. The result was, that Tinder is characterized with more inequality than 95% of all economies in the world. Only the wealth distribution in Angola, Haiti, Botswana, Namibia, the Comoros, South Africa, Equatorial Guinea and the Seychelles is more unequal than on Tinder.
Although this study was carried out on the basis of Tinder, these results can probably also be applied to other forms of online dating. Therefore, switching to a Tinder alternative such as OkCupid isn’t very promising if you are not one of these very attractive men.
Tinder does significant damage
University of North Texas researchers have found that Tinder does significant damage to men. According to the study, men have significantly lower self-esteem when using Tinder. With the results of the “Worst Online Dater” in mind, this can be explained quite easily. If an average looking man has to swipe right between 100 to 200 times in order for a single Tinder match to take place, then this can decrease his self-esteem.
Good news
The good news is that men don’t have to doubt themselves, if they are average. For this reason, there is no reason to take it personally, if you don’t get Tinder matches. This is not because you are unattractive. Instead it is because of the simple fact that you don’t belong to the 20% of the hottest guys on Tinder.
Apart from online dating apps like Tinder and OkCupid, there are plenty of other ways to get to know a partner. I recommend you to get to know women in real life. That has proven itself over thousands of years – and not just for the most attractive men. As soon as you start to get to know women in the real world, appearance no longer plays the most important role. In the book “The Psychology of Flirting” you will learn how you can achieve more success with women in real life.
If you look hot, your tinder pick up lines doesn’t matter
Have you ever wondered what it would be like on Tinder if you were super hot? A bodybuilding enthusiast who calls himself “German Lifter” on an internet forum has carried out an experiment and published his experiences on the internet. He created a fake Tinder profile to find out how well a male model performed on Tinder. A high match rate shouldn’t surprise us now, but it’s shocking how women react to a hot man. An average man has to put a lot of effort into writing a creative conversation starter that will hopefully arouse the interest of the woman. But in the case of a very attractive man, it doesn’t matter what they write. If you look like a male model, you can write almost anything and still get a woman’s number. You can find his sometimes very tasteless but entertaining opening lines of his Tinder experiment here .
Your photo is the most important success factor on Tinder
At the latest now it should be clear that Tinder and online dating in general is very superficial and that your success depends solely on your appearance. No matter how much time you spend improving your Tinder bio or formulating the perfect pick up line, in the end it is your photo that matters most.
What most people don’t know is, that photos don’t show us the way we really look. Different photos of the same man can be rated very differenty regarding his attractiveness. In one photo women can rate him as not attractive at all, while in another photo he is a high-flyer. If you have unattractive photos, it doesn’t mean that you look bad, instead it could be because of your inability to take good photos of yourself.
Looking good in photos is largely a question of ability, which can be learned through a lot of practice. Services such as Photofeeler help you with this. You can upload your pictures and let other women rate them, until you have taken your perfect photo for Tinder. You can also determine how old the women should be, who are going to rate your photos. In our next blog article, we explain how you can get significantly more matches with a good profile.
Try not to take it personally.
You message them. They don’t write back. You message another match. No response. The person you matched with last week isn’t writing back either, and at this point, you’re asking yourself what the heck is going on. Did the algorithm change on the dating app you’re using? Is something wrong with your profile? It’s super frustrating to feel like you’re shouting into the void on dating apps, but before you delete them all in a fit of rage, know this: On Tinder, getting no response from matches can mean a lot of different things. Try not to take it personally, friends.
According to professional dating profile writer Eric Resnick, over a quarter of the users on swipe-based dating apps like Tinder are likely just there to look at profiles for entertainment purposes. “Many of these people just swipe without any intention of communicating with you,” Resnick tells Elite Daily. “Some are just swiping mindlessly to get to the next profile.”
Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show agrees, saying that for many people, swiping on dating apps is all about volume. “This is not an intimate, interpersonal process,” Klapow tells Elite Daily. “It is about finding as many possibilities as possible with the hopes of finding, within the possibilities, someone they are interested in.”
Can You Still Match On Tinder Without Paying
You may simply be matching with folks who aren’t looking for legit connections — but if that’s not the case, then here are some other explanations for why your matches aren’t biting.
Your Message Didn’t Include A Question
Though it’s super tempting to send all your matches a “hey” and call it a day, Resnick encourages dating app users to give the messages they send some thought. “The best move is to ask them a question about something in their profile,” Resnick says. “First messages should be questions that can’t be answered in a yes or no.” If you match with someone who calls themselves a “coffee aficionado” in their bio, ask them, “How do you like your coffee?” If they claim their fondest childhood memory was vacationing with their family, try, “Where’s the best place you’ve ever vacationed?” The possibilities are endless here.
Your Message Was Too Lengthy
Not Getting A Single Match On Tinder
Just as “hey” won’t get you a response, there’s a good chance your novel-length message will get you passed up, too. With so many matches out there, most people won’t take the time to read the paragraph you’ve sent, no matter how witty or insightful. As SpoonMeetSpoon owner Meredith Golden previously told Elite Daily, 'Long-winded is unattractive on apps. How many times have you been stuck in a conversation with a talker, smiling on the outside, but cringing on the inside, trying to plan your exit? Well, same goes for dating apps, but there's no need for social graces.” Instead, that message you spent so long composing will just be ignored.
Your Message Wasn’t Original
If you’re using the same tired pick-up lines on every match, then you shouldn’t be too surprised if you’re not getting the results you want. And if you’re using a pick-up line that isn’t even original to you, then you should def retire it and try a new approach. As Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge, previously pointed out to Elite Daily, “You don't need (or want) to attract everyone; you want to attract the people who think you're the cat's meow because of your uniqueness.” Show those matches just how unique you are!
Your Message Relied Too Much On Emojis
Emojis can be a super fun way to add some personality to a message — but when you don’t know someone, it’s better to use them in moderation. Not everyone interprets all emojis the same way, and even if someone can figure out what you're trying to get across, it'll probably take too much time and effort, which may lead them to ignore your message. 'The goal is to catch someone's attention in a short amount of time,' Ettin said. 'Using too many emojis causes someone's eyes to glaze over because they don't want to have to decipher each one.”
Your Message Came On Too Strong
While it can be hard to find a balance between feisty and abrasive, you should be careful not to alienate matches with a message that’s too forward. What you hoped would make someone laugh may actually cause offense, so you should probs save messages that are sexual or strongly opinionated for when you get to know your match better. As Golden pointed out, if “you wouldn’t say it in public,” you shouldn’t say it to a match. “There’s a reason you don’t walk into a Starbucks and say, 'If you voted for Trump, I can’t ever sit next to you,’” she added.
If you’re worried the reason no one is responding to your messages has more to do with you than it does with them, stop right there! Remember: You’re a total catch, and anyone would be lucky to match with you and chat. But while you shouldn’t have to change yourself or your profile to attract a match, as the right person for you will be attracted to exactly what you have to offer, sending a strong first message can make a big difference.
Sources:
Eric Resnick, professional dating profile writer
Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show
Meredith Golden, dating expert and owner of SpoonMeetSpoon
Erika Ettin, dating coach and founder of A Little Nudge
Editor's Note: This story has been updated by Elite Daily Staff.